Friday, 25 October 2013

The painful will of Allah ...

(In pained man moaning voice) Ouch - that hurt a lot, actually, it hurt a fuckuvafucking lot  in a humbling and humiliating way.

Ibuprfen Nitro for men
I staggered in to the dentist with a cartoon comedy bag of ice from on my inflamed jaw. Once in the chair of pain the no-nonsense former Soviet dentista snapped on the rubber, shoved in her hand, gave me a few jabs with elephant needles, sawed, drilled and took out the long dangly, fierce sinewy web of electric pain which had, over an increasingly dreary week, spread from my bottom jaw to the top of my head by way of my sizzling sinus. It was not only a vicious lizard of a pain but far worse it was XXX Man Pain which no combination of whisky and new improved formula elephant strength Ibuprofen Nitro for men can possibly assuage.

The Will of Allah

The work based emergency dentist always attracts a huge crowd in the early morning as there are sick notes to be garnered but being an on-a-pedestal teacher hushed room was made for me at the front of the dolefully mourning queue.  X-ray taken, tooth tapped, filling removed and wire brush applied to the inner tooth while I failed pathetically to hide my discomfort in front of some slightly smiling female dentistry students who looked on as  la dentista made good the mess caused by the munificent kind and wise Will of Allah.  There was a chorus of surprisingly harmonic but shocked with a tinge of disgust bismillahs as they saw a text book seeping, suppurating abscess dealt with. Horror. But what added a fairy light to my dark day was hearing them in move to hushed and awestruck tones as their disgust moved  to medical interest and utter shufi al gove as they as the mess of my mouth was explained to the. Yes, gove it transpires is indeed Arabic for abhorrent abscess - seems to fit.

Regardless, the pain was gone and I can see how torture victims now come to love Mr Nice the one who takes away the pain, who cares and understands...unfortunately though she was unable to complete the root canal as in her role as the emergency dentist her job is far better it is simply to take away the pain and send you skipping and ever grateful on your way into the unknown hands of the High Street private third world dentist which is now my next job - she said I have a week to do it or the temporary filling (I'm sure I had a crown last time) will flare up and I will get a ghastly and most gangrenous inflamed infection which I really wouldn't want not least as in Gulf Arabic such a humiliating and shameful disorder is unsurprisingly I suppose called a clegg.

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