The more advanced could take a course in foreign names - Mohammeds for example could go either way depending on whether they were still Mohammed or whether they had adopted the cooler monkier Mo. Effnik kids we soon observed, war torn qat chewing Somalis knife weilding and gun toting aside, lived up to the well-honed cliche of being fine, hard-working, more motivated, ambitious, intelligent and articulate than the feral underclass from the sink estates even if they couldn't utter a word of English on arrival.
Having been awa the fashions have changed and down here in Grimmouth-sur-Mer where time moves more slowly the tattooed and multi-pierced Darrens and Leannes have drunkenly spawned a swathe of gelled up grunting Jordans, Mitchells, Bradleys and Ryans along with a cohort of defiant, shouty junior harpies named Jasmin, Chelsea, Bacardi, Aleesha who fulfil the same worthy purpose of instantly gratifying the prejudice of middle class teachers and EWOs. Spelling also seems to have become voluntary and some half wits have foisted their spawn with initials instead of a name. The example of France should be followed, as in so many areas, with the idiot parents having their license to breed removed and their children put up for adoption to nice middle class families and rebranded Harry and Emily.
You know it makes sense.